Miss Daniels’ Literacy Homework

Homework – 01.12.14

All entries to be written by 05.12.14

Use the image above to write a descriptive paragraph about a winter scene. I want to see a good quantity of writing from everyone. Think about what we have been writing in class e.g. personification, similes, powerful adjectives.

I would like to see everyone trying to use a variety of sentence structures e.g. simple (The sun was hazy in the sky), compound (The tree’s branch was like a white hand touching me and it sent a shiver down my spine) and complex (As the sun shone onto the frozen river, it dazzled).

Have fun writing 🙂

Miss Daniels

68 thoughts on “Miss Daniels’ Literacy Homework

  1. Cianna

    Her branches on the trees where filled with white snow sparkling from the tips of the leaves.Her wind blew to the far east gently brushing onto my hair.Her river was frozen like ice very slippery like a ice-skating ring.Her bushs know longer looked like regular bushes they were filled with snow and the grass was coved with snow.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Lovely description Cianna! I like how you have personified the season of Winter. You have used similes well to create imagery 🙂 Don’t forget commas to mark clauses.

      2hp

      Reply
  2. Sydney

    As i walked into the woods i saw beautiful things, the icy trees white with frost and snow and hibernating animals sleeping happily the river was frozen and also has frost on. l could see my footsteps as I walked, quivering all the way. Though I was cold, I didn’t seem to care I saw too many Stunning things, the clouds were as white as the snow I was standing in as I stood amazed at the Exquisite forest’s beauty. The Branches on the trees, bare with no leaves, were like arms bony like an old granny’s. I saw stepping stones leading to an admirable little hut, made of forest tree wood. Then i left, it was late, dark, and colder than the day.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Very descriptive Sydney! I like some of the vocabulary you have used e.g. exquisite and hibernating. Great attempts at complex sentences 🙂 Don’t forget to think carefully about whether a sentence should end with a full stop or carry on.

      3hp

      Reply
  3. Shiva

    As the white, plain snow covered the area the chilly, peaceful and dazzled waters were gently dancing away until freezes. And the trees coated in cool snow, swaying in the wind, I touch the frosted branches sending a chill down my spine immediately. The sun, blurred in the sky gleaming on to the carpet of snow. And cold scene melts away.

    I had fun making this!

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Good descriptive writing Shiva. You have tried hard to describe objects in the picture e.g. ‘sun, blurred in the sky’ and ‘frosted branches’ Remember to not start sentences with ‘and’ and be careful with those commas to mark clauses.

      2hp

      Reply
  4. LukeO

    The frozen river glowed in the blazing, dazzling sun. the bushes are as white as polar bears, the sky is turquois. The branches covered with snow and the golden leaves sparkled in the sun light. Snow covers the green grass. The harsh wind blows the tall trees. The bushes separate a dazzling frozen river so it could gently flow in between the bushes.

    from Luke

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Good descriptive writing Luke. I like your use of descriptive vocabulary e.g. blazing, dazzling, golden. Great similes used to add to the description. I would have liked to have seen you trying to use more complex sentences, like we have been doing in class.

      2hp

      Reply
  5. Zaheer

    As the sun gazed into open space wondering why is it snowing? Snow falls and lands on the thick lushes hair of the trees. Ice smashes breaking into a million peaces, getting caught in the mean water pushing them down stream. As the snow falls creating a bigger and bigger mountain every time. The trees laugh at each other as snow falls on their heads.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Lovely descriptive writing Zaheer. I particularly liked your third sentence, imagining the ice smashing into tiny pieces! Don’t forget that if you write sentences that start with ‘As’, check they make sense.

      3hp

      Reply
  6. Vish

    The bright dazzling sun shines in the sky lightening up the white carpet spread far and wide over the land . A feeling of peace and calm fills the air as a new day dawns. The warm rays of the sun kiss the cold white branches that it falls on. Everything looks pure and clean and glistening . On the ground the frozen stream welcomes the suns rays on it. Underneath the ice the fish swim around merrily. Robin’s leave a trail of footprints in the snow . Santa’s sleigh covered in ice hiding in a cold winter wonderland.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Excellent descriptive writing Vishakan. I especially liked your first sentence and imagining the snow covering everywhere. You have used great personification with the sun’s rays kissing the tree’s branches. Try and use commas to mark your clauses.

      3hp

      Reply
    2. dhobbs

      Vishakan, I really like the image of the ‘frozen stream welcoming the sun’s rays’ – like the water is waiting to be warmed up by the sun. Very imaginative! 🙂

      Reply
  7. Zaheer

    Miss Daniels this is a story I wrote I hope you enjoy it. 🙂

    The Mysterious Murder!

    Hello, my name is Aryan. I am going to tell you about a mysterious murder.
    It all started a long time ago, when I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth.
    I suddenly heard a sound “arrrgghhh!”
    I rushed downstairs and out of the door to see what was going on.
    What’s the matter? I asked?
    My dog is dead , she stuttered. I looked down and saw that the dog was dead. He looked like he was killed by something sharp. A knife perhaps.
    I knew exactly what to do? I’ll figure out who did this murderous act.

    There are four suspects I thought.
    Andrew, Bob, William and Tim. They all hated the dog, so there’s a good starting point.

    Andrew’s 1st. Andrew is my next door neighbor. I will spy on him. Here I go,wait, I just thought I saw him hold up a knife. That can’t be right! Yup he did! Maybe he is the killer…but there are three more suspects.

    Now it’s Bob, I’ll spy on Bob from a tree. This should be easy. He’s always sleepy and probably in his room. Yup there he is in his room laying in bed. Bob’s asleep. He cant of done the murder he’s to lazy. But why is he asleep so early?

    William has always been suspicious to me. William lives across the road from me so I should be able to spy on him quite easily without getting caught. I will be able to see him from my windows using the binoculars I got for my birthday. William has been a bit strange lately, more secretive, private and stopped talking to me properly. He has never been too keen on animals.

    Now it’s Tim’s go. The dog had always pooped on Tim’s lawn. Tim hated dogs and hated when they poop on the lawn. I have seen him run out of the house and charge at a dog and his owner if the dog appears at the front path. Tim might have gone to get revenge and stabbed the dog.

    But who actually committed the murder? I may have to call the police for this one. They could give me a few tips. I called in to the local police station. The policeman asked me “what’s the matter kid”. I replied “I need a few tips on how to figure out how to solve a mysterious murder”. I explained the situation and described the crime scene. I showed him a photo I took on my ipod.
    I told him about my four suspects, Andrew, Bob, Tim and William and why I thought they could have done it.
    “Andrew might have committed the crime” I said. “why was Bob sleeping so early? Was he unwell?, Kid have you thought that perhaps the crime was committed at night? You believe it was done in the day?” I thought it over. Actually then it struck me, “of course, Bob committed the crime. The dog died at night, and Bob’s sleeping early…obviously it was Bob ‘cos he strikes at night. Now after committing the crime and staying up at night, he is too sleepy during the day. . Officer, arrest Bob for killing the dog! CASE CLOSED” I shouted.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Interesting story Zaheer! I thought Tim had done it! I agree with Sydney’s comment that you need speech marks 🙂

      Reply
  8. Nitish

    The Sun was rising up to start a new frozen day. The trees was like a polar fur gentle cover the floor
    , the water froze and turn to a a ice rink the people. The sun gentle setting for a new dazzling night .
    The trees put on a soft white blanket to make the trees warm for christmas .The is cold as ice spread to another place. the bushes is way good bye to the sun and the goes slow.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Good descriptive writing Nitish. I liked your use of metaphors with the snow being a blanket.
      Remember if you write a plural noun then we need ‘were’ NOT ‘was’ e.g. ‘The trees was like…’ should be ‘The trees were like…’

      2hp

      Reply
  9. Sonny

    Her branches were covered with a coat, that was made of snow. She had a swimming pool that was like Antartica, with snow inside that we’re like ice bergs. When the sun set , weather spread ice and snow , making the forest freeze. In the morning the the sun rose hazily , making the forest feel calm and peaceful. Winters snow twinkled as it floated off the leaves. Her chilly and icy breath made the leaves gently fall off.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Very descriptive writing Sonny. I like how you have personified the season of Winter. Good use of adverbs e.g. ‘sun rose hazily’. Try to use similes to create more imagery.

      3hp

      Reply
      1. Nitish

        well done sonny I really enjoy you descriptive writing i like when you put when the sun set,weather
        spread ice and snow ,making the forest freese

        Reply
  10. Aya

    Her branches were covered with snow like a thick white coat.
    Her breath was the chilly wind that could make you quiver .
    The river beside her was frozen so adults and children could skate on.
    Winter’s face was leaving a frosty trail behind her.
    In the morning the sun rose gently and the river,frozen water and Winter’s coat slowly melted.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Good descriptive writing Aya. I’ve enjoyed your use of personification and personifying the season of Winter. Try and use some complex sentences to engage the reader further.

      2hp

      Reply
  11. Alexavier

    As he shakes to get the snow of his arms ,like a dog getting water off him, .This was done quickly but also quietly .The frozen lake being covered in snow ,like the water in Antarctica ,. This water was shiny but it also had ice-skating skid marks on it .As well as this ice on the lake speeding across to the gleaning white snow his chilly icy breath made the gently as well as them falling slowly . As the slow sun raised some of the snow and ice malted .I would fell freezing but happy as I could skate on the icy ice.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Lovely descriptive writing Alex. I like how you have personified Winter with his ‘chilly icy breath’. Some great use of adverbs e.g. slowly, gently, quietly. Check that your sentences make sense, especially those sentences that start with ‘As’.

      3hp

      Reply
  12. Harry

    His branches swiftly swaying side to side. The ice as white as polar bears leaving trails of frost behind him.
    As the sun gazing down on the freezing cold frost, the ice melts. The chilly and cold ice scatters beautifully around the shimmering and shiny ice rink. The ice rink coverd with a silky coat of snow as the sun gets warmer and warmer causing the ice to melt. And the ice breaking into little parts of small ice cubes. And the silver and georgeous bushes leaning over the lake to smell the cold and fresh air of winter.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Great descriptive writing Harry. I like how you have used a simile to describe the ice. You have used some great adjectives to describe objects e.g. ‘silky coat’, ‘silver and gorgeous bushes’. Remember not to start sentence with ‘And’.

      3hp

      Reply
  13. Lee

    When the sun shone brightly onto the frozen frosty lake, the cold freezing water slowly drifted to the sea. As the trees waved gently, the crystal white snow made a soft squishy blanket. As Robins mark trails of foot stamps, the Foxes scatter across the lake.The trees arms stretch across the sky, making it catch the pretty snowflakes.Trees are bare with leaves, birds in nests can`t make themselves warm.The lake is frozen with ice making it very solid .When happiness fills the air, people have joy in their warm hearts. When the blazing sun hovers around the earth the sun hugs around the land.Some animals hibernate like the furry black and white Badger instead of playing around and chasing Pigeons.The exquisite white creamy frost on the trees start to build up like a building getting higher each minute.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Excellent descriptive writing Lee! I really like the atmosphere you have created with your writing, especially with the sentence beginning ‘When happiness fills the air…’. You have used some great use of personification e.g. ‘The tree’s arms…’. Be careful with your commas as there are a few missing.

      4hp

      Reply
  14. Isobel

    Winter has covered all the trees with thick, white snow. She made everything sparkle, including the river. The River is crystal clear, as clear as glass. Huge, long icicles hung from the massive branchy, trees. The air was silent, as the snow fell lightly on to the ground. The sun shone vividly in the hazy sky. All the trees had been covered in a thick blanket of beautiful snow.

    Reply
    1. adaniels Post author

      Great descriptive writing Isobel. You have used many adjectives to describe the objects in the scene e.g. ‘thick, white snow’ and ‘huge, long icicles’. Remember to think about the order of your clauses e.g. The sentence that begins with ‘The air was silent’

      2hp

      Reply
  15. Thomas

    As I was walking along by the icy stream, I came upon a snowy field and it made me think. Winter had arrived wearing his white woolly coat, as big as a snowy mountain. His chilling breath surrounded me whilst I paused, staring at the sun`s reflection on the frozen water. He touched the cold barked trees leaving a layer of frost behind. The leaves glistened under the misty sun, the frost sparkled like jewels hidden in a cave wall.

    Reply
  16. laine

    The trees shivered in the winters cold sun light, they are as white as a blanket covering icy the ground.The ice rink is glistening as is freezes
    by itself. The frosty grass swayed as the wind blows it back.

    Reply
    1. Laine

      The trees shivered in the winters cold sun light, they are as white as a blanket covering icy the ground.The ice rink is glistening as is freezes
      by itself. The frosty grass swayed as the wind blows it back. There are no clouds in the sky which lets the mood down. The trees branches cant hold no more so the break off the snow falls on to the ice rink.

      Reply
  17. Jack

    The snow covered the ground like a shiny white, sparkly blanket. Lakes are frozen solid and ducks slide across the ice. Slipping and sliding like people skating. Snow covered the tree like a thick coat. Everywhere you look the soft snow has covered. It is beautiful and pretty but so very very cold. The sun is bright and low in the sky but there is a thin mist over it. It is so peaceful not a sound to be heard apart from the odd bird chirping.

    Reply
  18. Maisie

    The snow , that was as soft as a blanket, fell gracefully down on to the grown with out a sound.The ice twinkeld in the sun like
    fairy’s dancing gracefully on snowflakes.Trees were as cold as icicles droping down making a little ding every time.The air was
    as still as the trees just the jentle sound of the snow falling getly upon their leves.

    Reply
    1. Lucia

      As I walked through the cold frosty woods, my footprints sunk deep in to the freeing snow. The hazy but bright sun shone through the silent night sky and the glistening snow dripped of the snowy branches. The shimmering lake started to defrost, allowing it to slowly wave back and forwards as the misty air blew swiftly around the huge trees and the sun smiled reflecting in the glowing lake.

      Reply
  19. Katie

    The lake was cold, chilly and frozen. The trees had lumps of snow as their thick coats. as the winter stood in frost and ice, the ground got covered in snow like a blanket. When Jack Frost was out to frost, when the sun set, all was calm and peaceful as the snow fell gradually to the covered, snowy ground. The ground felt like a pillow and it looked like a pure white, twinkly blanket.

    by Katie

    Reply
  20. LukeM

    The sun rises in the sky spreading light across the sleepy forest. Snow lay like a giant blanket on the trees. The river glistened as ice formed on this cold winters morning. A cold shiver ran down my spine. In the distance the birds began to sing their morning song. The river trickled slowly over the bumpy rocks through the forest. The snow felt like a cold shower touching my hand. My cheeks glowed like Rudolphs nose. This amazing scene took my breath away. By Ben Mason

    Reply
  21. Daljeet

    While I walked into the forest, I came across a lake and fields. The sun glistened over the reflective beautiful lake, it snowed in the cold and windy air. The ground was covered in the white creamy snow as the fur of a tiger. The trees stood as still as a rock while the ice that once froze the lake melted into pieces. The bushes swayed like a rocking boat. The winters coat was as wintry and gusty as Antarctica. The snow was a pearl white blanket that was children’s joy but parent’s nightmare. The sky lay in the air with the sun shining brightly like fire burning.

    Reply
  22. Mitchell

    The snow looks like the trees coat, glistening in the sunshine.
    The icy lake looks slippery and shiny, it makes me want to skate on it.
    The arms of the trees are no longer brown, but white covered in snow.
    As darkness falls it is very still and quiet, almost eery .
    It is so peaceful.

    Reply
  23. Harry

    Recomendation : Ben
    Book : Black and White

    Ben would like this book because Ben likes sport and the book is all about football and football is a sport.
    The book is about this boy who went to this football club what was called white but he didnt really like that club so he changed his club and his next club was called balck. This club was his best club he was ever at. And I really liked that book so i think Ben would like the book as well. So i would recomend it to Ben.
    I really liked the book.

    Reply
  24. LukeO

    Recommended to Arun.
    The book is called Football academy striking out.

    This book is about a boy called Yunis and he is really good at football.
    He is the top goal scorer at the under 12 academy but his dad thinks
    School is more important than football. He makes him do all his work before
    He goes out with Jake and his friends to practice football. On one night his mum tells
    Yunis why his dad does not like football.
    The book is so good because you really want to know why his dad does not like football and why
    He is not watching his son.
    Arun will like it because he really likes football.

    Reply

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